being cool is the only thing that matters.
my god
i really want to set this one picture as my whatsapp profile pic ; it's a pic of me wearing sunglasses, smoking a cigar and drinking whiskey with three dudes all doing the same thing next to me
it was the night that markus went to multiple places to buy me a cigar and his gf got mad
i just also felt cool hanging out with the boys like that
i feel like that's the last time i was so fucking cool
i really want that as my whatsapp pic
but i can't bring myself to do it
because
but
i set it as my pic on goodreads and it looks so fucking goooood lmao
it's become extremely important to me to feel really fucking cool
like beyond all else i want to be fucking cool
i remember at the marina they were all swooning over that solo female sailor saying she's super cool and i met her and i was like she's so normal i don't get what they're talking about
i'm starting to feel like sailors are hella dumb
they got bad taste
i haven't met one person who listens to good music
(i do believe i said some shit here about people who talk about their own taste as superior lmao)
whatever i did it. to my whatsapp.
sheepishly declaring the energy i want to have in life yknow.
lately i've been tellin my husband i don't believe in relationships and only people with dark neuroses need to be in them.
one thing that makes me feel fucking cool is speaking german
especially in front of english speakers
as soon as me and my germans codeswitch to german it's like we instantly get cloutier than everyone
it's the language that makes me feel most like a rapper
i was telling ppl like, french is like classical opera. it sounds fluid but it's actually rigid and the rules are strict and it can only be one way but german is like freestyle rapping. it sounds harsh and rhythmic but it's cool as fuck and you are free to construct your own meanings creatively
why is it so important to feel cool?
being cool means you can handle everything in your life with ease
being cool means you are in control of your life
that you are living the life you goddamn want to be living...
and i haven't been in that vibration in many years
let's see when that pic was taken
20-fucking-20
4 goddamn years ago was the last time i felt fucking cool
and i'm a goddamn sailor.
wowowowowowow mom is picking up on the vibes
she's like "loving your new prof pic. you look like a spy"
yes mom.
mom gets it.
Lately I’m like I don’t get why straight couples exist. It seems like guys have more fun with guys and girls should all go to a commune and do yoga and eat smoothie bowls. And Seb is like “bc then humanity would die out” and I’m like “and that would be such a big problem yes”
Like so fucking what if humanity dies out.