v4nividivici

certified freediver

new pb! 14.3m! lol (second day of freediving)

ok i'm not going to turn into one of those people who obsesses about their pb

but i do want to say that i discovered that i am a person who is pathologically (or perhaps medicinally) attracted to sports of "forced trust" -- sports where you have to trust another person with your life and vice versa. (examples: rock climbing, scuba diving, freediving)

because it's the thing in life i most would like to have

similarly, i think luca wants to have control over someone because control is the one thing he does not have. i think it might be because he saw too much death too young. nonetheless it's not ok for him to play with me

did i fail my test?

i should've said no this is fucked up

right?

if there wasn't something in me which wanted it, i wouldn't have said yes. but is it wrong to want it? or is it wrong to initiate it? or is it wrong to receive it?

i don't know.

what a day.