1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

having fun whilst surrounded in love

2. What is your greatest fear?

the idea that there is no more happinesses to come that are as intense as happinesses past

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

(this question is forcing me to deplore something within myself...)
nothing. i don't deplore anything in myself, it's a bit harsh.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

today i saw a video of a kitten painted in blue acrylic paint...left to die...
(it was rescued)
i deplore this hypocrisy by which we use the word "humane" to describe our species, which is most definitely not united by the characteristics described by the word "humane"
how full of ourselves we are to use this word...
i deplore the shameless, pathological, hypocritical way we pretend that we aren't cruel

5. Which living person do you most admire?

some unknown rich kid who can enjoy life and do whatever they like without having to think about money; and that unknown rich kid is NOT a drug addict but DOES enjoy reading, writing, hanging out with friends, eating yummy foods (they're really not so different from you and me except they don't need to do anything they don't want to do for the sake of money)

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

living on a sailboat but not loving it every second (i've been so whiny lately i have to really reflect)

7. What is your current state of mind?

relaxed, happy -- i put up the table in the saloon and pulled out the couch into a bed and i'm chilling on it...i have an ikea rug next to me and the heater is on...i feel like i'm in a comfy college dorm room

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

"kindness" i think it should be a given

9. On what occasion do you lie?

i pretend to enjoy things so as to not look stuck-up or make people feel bad about their taste. théa gave me a book, the inheritance game, and i started to read it to give it a chance and a chapter in, she comes over to hang out and i said "the writing's really not that bad" but ...the characters are so fucking flat. it is worse than harry potter.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

imperfect skin (dry & i have a scar on my right knee, right elbow...)

11. Which living person do you most despise?

to name one person would be so unfair when i hate people equally (i don't mean i hate all people, it's just that the ones i hate are hated on the same level)

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

calm (which is not to say apathy; they are full of life and enthusiasm but they are just very unbothered)

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

lovingness

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

"I think"

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

I can't choose one; Kiwi or my grandpa

16. When and where were you happiest?

childhood @ my grandparents' or college in Santa Barbara

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

writing good books (but i wonder if that's a silly thing to say...is it a talent to write good books? or do we simply have something to say to everyone and then say it?)

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i'd like to stay aware of what is available to be enjoyed/appreciated

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

treating my depression

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

my dog's dog. she would come back as a human girl. i'd enter her life when she's about 15 years old. we'd spend a lot of time together. she'd even take me off to college with her. she would be rich and pretty but also smart and sweet and loving. she would have a great sense of humor and fun

21. Where would you most like to live?

new york city (in the chelsea???)

22. What is your most treasured possession?

my paintings
(my laptop too, but for the files inside of them, which i think are on the cloud...)

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

being stuck with people you don't like and who don't like you (and having to pretend like you like them)

24. What is your favorite occupation?

relaxing, freely doing what i want (like this questionnaire, or reading, or i'm about to watch some videos about luna luna, a new amusement park in LA that just opened) without pressure

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

unpredictable (in a good way)

26. What do you most value in your friends?

great capacity for love

27. Who are your favorite writers?

stefan zweig, steinbeck, mulk raj anand

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

maybe the boy in untouchable by mulk raj anand -- he had a lot of dignity

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

marie antoinette for doing what her cold, calculating mom says even though she is clearly suffocating. i feel like i'm walking down a path that isn't mine and i'd like to stop identifying with her (or any royal figure really, they all sort of lived like that, like their lives weren't their own...)

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

unknown people who live with dignity; oh yeah, my friend bjørn...he does what he wants and he doesn't care what people think (he chose his career as a construction worker early in life and does not mind what that seems like on the outside) and he demonstrates his value of freedom...he takes ownership and responsibility over his life.

31. What are your favorite names?

Laraline and my own name, my mom had an unusual poetic streak when she named me.

32. What is it that you most dislike?

incapacity for love

33. What is your greatest regret?

being mean to kiwi and snowball two times (one each)

34. How would you like to die?

in a dream, after i have published a book (like a message in a bottle...i just want to send a message out there so that someone might receive it...but i'm not sure what my message is...i just want to record things that can bring someone joy i think)

35. What is your motto?

what is done in love is done well