re:childhood & the unique freedoms of femalehood
i'm growing backwards
there was a moment (a long decade moment) of wanting to be 19 again — for the rampant sexual energy in and around me — but now i am regressing even further back, to like 13-16...
i'm reading YA (last night I gave animorphs another try. I’m reading the graphic novel and I really like it so far. I think I just wasn’t patient enough to picture the aliens because the writing isn’t too refined but having someone draw it out for me allows me to focus on the story)
i'm doing my little creative projects (which remind me of being 16-17)
i'm learning japanese again (16, 17)
i'm really enjoying feeling like a kid
i'm past wanting to have a bunch of sex with strangers, i want to experience pure unadulterated joy.
In other news isn’t it such a blessing to be a female?
To be a female is weirdly such a freeing thing. Nobody talks about the freedoms it gives you people just talk about the restraints
But you know why I feel more free?
Because I’m allowed to read books for kids and teenagers. Because I’m allowed to also read James Bond and serious literary literature and nonfiction. There is nothing which I’m not allowed to read.
But for men, grown ass men, the pool of accepted reading, I feel, is smaller.
And if you want to read about lives of 16 year old girls (for ex the girl who invented romance or the wish) people will look at you in a judging way and think maybe you’re a pedophile or gay or
Not that it’s wrong to be gay but they will think that about you even though it has nothing to do with that. Like it could just be curiosity. Like wanting to know what lives of Nigerians or the old Nordic tribes are like or something. It’s just wanting to experience being someone else
Women can do anything.
They say that don’t they.
Yes women can do anything. Women are encouraged to do anything that men can do. and women can still do the girly cute juvenile things of childhood.
and women can also read dragon ball z and experience young boyhood
Women can do all of that, don’t you see?
And men are still rather locked in their masculine responsibilities and heaviness and if they dare venture out then surely they must be gay (is that why this word for happiness is used in this way?)
of the fun things, men are only allowed to take interest in boobs.
What else is left for them but guns and fishing and sports and politics? It seems they’re not allowed to do anything else
But women can play with guns and fish and do sports and get into politics without judgement
(I must say though, women are really not judged by how we dress. As long as you look cute and feminine — aka a little inconveniently dressed — you will be accepted without question. however, the more practical outfits will make people assume you are a lesbian and this has happened to me a lot because I wore hiking clothes exclusively. Because hiking clothes are comfortable and practical as fuck)