what I don’t have (anymore) and dearly miss
Last night I had a dream that I was playing the piano! A Chopin nocturne in D major. (Does that exist? No it does not. Maybe it was B minor…) I just remember two sharps and specifically I recall putting my right ring finger on that F# two octaves above middle C (but that does not exist either. I think I was playing op. 27 no 2 in D-flat major but in D major instead)
Oh I was playing it like I play the piano for real!!
My left and right hand were having trouble coordinating and my left hand, which is meant to keep time in most classical pieces, slowed down significantly to accommodate those signature Chopin runs on the right hand. And I thought no no no i have to play this separately for now. I have to practice the right hand by itself until it’s fast enough and automatic enough to join the left
This is how badly I want.
I want to play the piano. I want to play the piano in an orchestra (or just duets or trios with others, preferably those who play the cello)
I want to go rock climbing
I want to eat nabe. I want to cook Asian food. I want to eat Asian food in restaurants. With friends.
These are the things I most don’t have that I most want right now.
I miss that life so much
I have funneled myself into only caring about books (to some extent listening to music but the boat can be a loud place of wind and waves or maybe even worst of all: motor…and opportunities to listen are limited)
But I have all these other things I want to do too
I do enjoy the hiking and the swimming from the boat and snorkeling though. That’s the best